Contemplation

It probably seems that all I do is contemplate life. But at this stage of my life it seems like little else could be expected. It's hard not to contemplate the big choices and big milestones when you're surrounded by people who are living them.

I have very few single friends now at this point. Most of them are married and some of them have kids or are currently expecting.

The kid thing is interesting. It's hard to believe I have friends that are or will be parents. This is something I certainly don't envy at this point in my life. Even if I was married right now I wouldn't be having children yet. I recognize that at this point in my life I'm not ready for a responsibility like that. Raising children is one of the most important jobs there is and I know I am not at a place in my life where I could do that.

To raise a child you have to be totally unselfish and be ready to give up the things you want for what your child needs. This could mean different things for different people. I know that I am not yet the person I want to be and I believe it is my responsibility to get to place first before I contemplate raising a child.

If I ever have kids it will not be until I have satisfied the dreams I have for myself first. You really don't know how long you have so I'm not going to put those important things aside till retirement when you don't know that you'll even reach retirement. That might sound pessimistic but I don't mean it to. I simply believe that if you have the choice you should choose to achieve your dreams before having kids. You don't want to have kids and resent them for standing in between you and a goal or dream you've had you're entire life.

Of course this is just my personal opinion. Sometimes kids happen and you don't plan on it. In those cases you have to do the best you can.

As much as I often find myself jealous of my married friends, I'm certainly not envious about the ones having children. That is a bridge I am certainly not ready to cross.